Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Musings

I thought I could see clearly.

We thought the world was once a good natured beast that needed the tiniest training. We thought that most folks were good hearted. We all wanted to bring about good and great things. We all wanted the best that there is for our homes and our communities. I see now that we were small minded. We made the mistake of not counting on that innate little evil we all deny - self interest.

Everyone is in it for themselves.

I am not immune to this either. I thought that I was a selfless individual. Indeed, I thought quite highly of myself. I was good because I gave. I was good because I cared. I was good because I kept my list of good things my church told me would make me happy. I was good because of all the little things that I did and all the big things I didn’t do.

Here is where I was not so good.

I wasn’t in it for myself. I gave and wondered how my offering could be scorned so. I gave and gave, never thinking about what it was costing me. I never stopped & asked myself if it was good to give and like most things the answer was yes………and no.