Sunday, August 16, 2015

Every Day Makings

As I rode today, there seemed a small haze to the clear desert sky. My handle bar grips are sticky because they are worn out and the gum is coming off. I stick mainly to the "rivers and streams that I am used to." Occasionally, a side trail will tempt me, but I will feel that old tang, that old steady guiding compass that keeps me out of danger, and unfortunately very risk averse. Last week, I made a conscious effort to ride where I felt nervous to ride. By nervous to ride, I don't mean dangerous to ride, but something about the trail seems inconvenient, or that it might be difficult to get out of. It was fun and led to new trails and new experiences. Every decision was something that I found a little frightening in some small way. Here's the great thing about that, and I am just realizing it as I write this, I was a little tougher about almost everything this week. I attacked problems head on this week. No waiting for them to resolve, no waiting for them to get bigger. So, I turned a corner on a trail that I thought I knew and was immediately blasted by a cold breeze. That was strange considering how hot it is in my desert mountain home. Following the overgrown dirt road revealed an old mine shaft, and there was a wind coming from out of the Earth. It felt great and terrifying in a huge way. Like how an ant would feel looking up at a boot. The seasons change and the world keeps on turning and by the by everything comes to pass whether I like it or not. I have a son who is senior in high school in two days. I find that terrifying, and yet I know this could be one of the most exciting times in our lives. It's how I will choose to live it I suppose. As the new academic year begins, I find myself treating it more and more like a new year. The big apple has fallen and it's time to decide what I should seize from this world. My career has never been more solid. My ol' lady has started in on her career too. Our home is in better shape than ever, my family is healthy, happy, and religion free. I think that is about as solid as I have ever been. Oh...but the journey here! And don't make the mistake of thinking that we have in any way finished or reached the end. That would be ignoring the dull, never ending pain of burgeoning middle age.

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