Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Beer Can Man

A few weeks ago, I spent a whole week doing Professional Development (teacher training) at Brian Head, Utah. The course was a fascinating survey of the impact of the spruce beetle on the forest in the Brian Head area. The never ending interplay between all manner of species within a given ecosystem is overwhelming.



It should come as no surprise when, in the middle of nowhere (shouts Pee Wee Herman), I found a pile of soda and beer cans. Who is this foul jackass that spreads his filth in the form of Busch beer and Tiki Punch cans? Every "remote" place I’ve ever visited has been first befouled by the Beer Can Man....why?



On another note, I may be changing my mind about the right to take ATV’s on trails. Without exception, everywhere there was a road or an ATV trail, there was trash to be collected (proving Edward Abbey right). Perhaps this seems like a no-brainer, but the amount of garbage present along rutted roads versus hiking trails was staggering. And by staggering, I mean utterly shocking and aweing.



We are swine! People are absolutely filthy dirty when they go into the wild.



On yet another note. Is there anything more phony than a resort town? I couldn’t wait to come home and wash my hands of cabin/mansions, stylish outdoor clothing, bike pants, timeshare condos, bike pants, and cabin architecture. Park City, Jackson Hole, and Brian Head all stink to me like the rich and disconnected. One can’t purchase the quality that comes from an experience, when that experience was packaged by a salesman at a posh outdoors store.







We trapped about 50 chipmunks. We were doing population studies of small mammals in various ecosystems.

This is what my friend the machinist calls "ass time." He said it...not me.



We had one trapping area that was just about at the top center of the edge of this canyon. The canyon is called Cedar Breaks and it is incredible. Whilst trapping there, I strayed from the group for a few minutes and walked to the edge. I am glad I did.


"What our economists call a depressed area almost always turns out to be a cleaner, freer, more livable place than most." Edward Abbey

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I'm no scientist...but I'm wondering if the little critter is going to make it home in that bag. All jokes aside, I agree that where man roams, his "marks" he does leave. (even if those "marks" are of the skid variety)I remember gathering water samples from all of the Tetons tributaries, analysing the data while determining how much stuff we dump into it makes the water critters change. For the record, you shouldn't drink the yellow water, that and Green Canyon hot springs would make a great catfish farm. PS I'm a good supporter of the Tread Lightly campain.

AG said...

Bike pants must have really pissed you off since you listed them twice.

Beer can man is somewhat like the Sasquatch; he is elusive, cunning, and only leaves behind pieces of crap that no one really wants to find. Sadly, in 10,000 years, archaeologists will come across Beer Can Man's many deposits throughout our country and assume they were altars to some God named Tiki Busch.

An yes, ATVs should go. All they do is allow people the opportunity to ruin areas they were too lazy to previously walk to.

G-man said...

BJ,

I know you are joking, but I am sure other people have wondered why the Chipmunk was in a ziplock bag. We would wrap the bag around the mouth of the trap and shake them out. Once in the bag, we could identify thier gender, species (there are a bunch of Chipmunk species), and anything else interesting. We would then color one leg red or blue, in order to see if we would eventually recapture the critter.

Concerning water testing; I am thinking of having my students do some real life science and test the water quality of the wells in our community.

G-man said...

AG,

Bike pants on a man are disgusting. Women......not so bad. And just so you know, I did write it twice on purpose.

You are spot on about archaeologists and thier future presumptions.

Lazy ATV people. I think a compromise might be in order. How about banning 4 wheelers entirely and any motorcycles built after 1973?

Anonymous said...

I am proud to say that Greg cleans up after the many illusive jackasses.

To quote him, "leave it better than you found it".

AG said...

I'll second the motion on the ATVs. All in favor???

Motion carries.

Yeah, bike pants on a girl aren't that bad. Not bad at all.

lindsey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ibid said...

this post makes me want to grow my beard to my sternum and move in next to a pond.

Anonymous said...

Shall we call you John Muir Mr. ibid?

G-man said...

Anonymous,

Hmmmmm, who are you? Who is it that you are? I wonder.

G-man said...

Darren,

I thought your beard was to your sternum by now.

G-man said...

Darren,

I am forgetting what you look like. Does that mean I am falling out of love!?

G-man said...

Big Ake,

We should call him Papa Smurf or Spock.

I think that you meant Thoreau.